[There's nothing all right about any of this. All he ever does is make her not all right.]
Magnus is the founder of the Institute, yes. A servant of the Watcher. There's- He's been trying to redo the Watcher's Crown ever since he failed and-and gained the abilities he has now. His body is sitting in a structure beneath the Institute, but his eyes have been in every Head of the Institute since its inception excepting Peter Lukas. But over the years, he came to understand that the rituals were flawed. All of Robert Smirke's rituals were flawed. The Powers are too bound up in one another. Try to bring just one through, and it will never work. The Buried needs the Vast as much as the Eye needs the Dark. You can't have a world with only up, only down, only light, only dark. They need their opposite to have any meaning.
So, he needed a way to bring them all. And through the history of mankind, there would seem to be one creature that touches all the Powers, can know and experience them like none other: the Archivist.
[ Why does this sound like the pyramid? Like the Tremere line? It bounces around in her head like a hornet buzzing about, furious, and she tries to connect the bisecting pieces. By the end of it, she just scrubs her face with her hand, utterly lost. She understands, logically, what Jon is telling her...but she doesn't emotionally fathom all of it.
He comes to the end, her gaze settling on him, hard as ice. ]
So you've been groomed by this psychopath into making the apocalypse happen. Because you're the key that opens the door and lets them all in.
[ Touched by all of them. Was Gertrude like that too? ]
[That's a wholly accurate summary, and it makes Jon's skin crawl. His jaw tightens, and he just nods.]
The only mark I have that's my own is the Web's. He-he arranged for everything else. Ever since I came to the Institute, and he Saw I'd been touched by the Spider already. I'm not the only one at the Institute who's been touched, but he... I guess he thought that would be one of the hardest to arrange?
[He crosses his arms, fingers digging in, shoulders tensed.]
And ever time his plans went awry I just-I just set them back on track. Everything I've tried to do to help, it's... it's been wrong. Trying to help Melanie had me stabbed for the Slaughter. Saving Daisy took me to the Boneturner for the Flesh, then into the coffin for the Buried. Then into the Lonely for Martin. I- Everything I did was wrong, Ava. Every time I tried to help people it was playing into his hand.
[He swallows and falls silent for a moment before his expression twists again.]
And Tim died for-for nothing. He didn't have to die. Elias said not to take him to the Unknowing. He knew what would happen. Sasha didn't need to, either. I would have got the Stranger's mark from the Unknowing. He didn't need to let that-that thing that wasn't her parade around for months.
Because you don't fucking listen, Jon. You never fucking listen to anyone else. You run ahead and do stupid shit because you don't consider that maybe, maybe, there's a better way than you charging headlong into danger.
[ That's not fair. It really isn't fair of her to say it because Jon isn't just baring his heart to her, processing his pain and trauma, but he's grieving the loss of his friends again, and she's cutting straight through it like a hot knife to butter. And she seems to realize that too, even if something's stuck in her throat and telling her that Jon deserves to see how he's fucked everything up for people--
She exhales raggedly, like a hiss, and tries to control herself. ]
Elias is a monster. [ That's easier to focus on than trying to assure Jon that everything is okay or that he tried. ] He deserves to fucking die-- And all he's ever done is cause pain for you and your assistants and friends, Jon. And he's going to keep doing it.
You... You-- [ Fuck, she's so angry. It's always about the people he's hurt back home, he never fucking thinks-- ] You walked the line he set for you. Willingly or not. But he set the line there, Jon. Not you.
[He curls in on himself at the bite in her words. She's right, of course. That's his problem. One of them. One of the biggest that Elias had relied on to ensure Jon's fall. But it had felt like the only way to take any control at the time. At each of those times. And each time he hadn't any control at all. Elias had been pulling his strings from miles away, continents at a time.]
I'm a monster, Ava. He led the way, but I opened the door. You're right. God, you're right. If I'd just listened to Basira. She told me not to go into the coffin. She would have stopped me going to the Boneturner. She-she wanted to kill me a few times, I think. If she had just killed me, none of this would have happened. If-if Daisy had before that. She should have killed me. It would have ruined his plans.
Everyone keeps letting me live or-or trusting me when they shouldn't. I'm the problem, Ava. I've hurt you, too. The people you care about most. You shouldn't... you should never have stopped at just a punch.
A monster because he made you into one. All you were before that was a boneheaded person who won't ever fucking listen to reason or the people around you. I don't know about your friends from home, but I'm sure they were fucking tired of you putting them in danger just because you wanted to be stupid.
[ But it's more than that, isn't it? Jon's right; he's hurt her and the people she cares about. She doesn't think he should die but he's definitely not making a good argument for her not to hurt him at this point.
Which is why she reaches over, grabbing him by the wrist even as she stands again. Her grip is painful, bruising. ]
If you'd just stop it, I wouldn't always be pissed at you! And you knew what getting my Statement was going to do that first time, and you didn't tell me!
You keep things a secret and all it does is work out badly! Why do you keep doing it, Jon?
[Jon tries to jerk away reflexively with a startled, sharp sound as she snatches his wrist. He deserves this, but at the same time, he's terrified of it. That doesn't stop the words pouring out of his mouth that urge her on. He feels so guilty. She should never have met him. Her life in Duplicity would have been easier. Taking it back now is impossible, but he can let her do what she should have done a long time ago.]
I don't know! I- Standing still just feels wrong. If I'm not doing something it's-it's as good as doing nothing. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ava. Please, do whatever you want. Hurt me however it will make you feel better. God, please.
[She won't kill him. He knows she won't kill him. And any damage she does, he'll heal from. This is her righteous retribution. He needs to give this to her. Maybe it will ease the aching guilt in his own chest to have some of the pain made physical. Something he can heal from.]
no subject
Date: 2019-11-28 03:11 pm (UTC)No. You shouldn't. Sorry.
[There's nothing all right about any of this. All he ever does is make her not all right.]
Magnus is the founder of the Institute, yes. A servant of the Watcher. There's- He's been trying to redo the Watcher's Crown ever since he failed and-and gained the abilities he has now. His body is sitting in a structure beneath the Institute, but his eyes have been in every Head of the Institute since its inception excepting Peter Lukas. But over the years, he came to understand that the rituals were flawed. All of Robert Smirke's rituals were flawed. The Powers are too bound up in one another. Try to bring just one through, and it will never work. The Buried needs the Vast as much as the Eye needs the Dark. You can't have a world with only up, only down, only light, only dark. They need their opposite to have any meaning.
So, he needed a way to bring them all. And through the history of mankind, there would seem to be one creature that touches all the Powers, can know and experience them like none other: the Archivist.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-05 05:23 am (UTC)He comes to the end, her gaze settling on him, hard as ice. ]
So you've been groomed by this psychopath into making the apocalypse happen. Because you're the key that opens the door and lets them all in.
[ Touched by all of them. Was Gertrude like that too? ]
no subject
Date: 2019-12-05 06:05 am (UTC)The only mark I have that's my own is the Web's. He-he arranged for everything else. Ever since I came to the Institute, and he Saw I'd been touched by the Spider already. I'm not the only one at the Institute who's been touched, but he... I guess he thought that would be one of the hardest to arrange?
[He crosses his arms, fingers digging in, shoulders tensed.]
And ever time his plans went awry I just-I just set them back on track. Everything I've tried to do to help, it's... it's been wrong. Trying to help Melanie had me stabbed for the Slaughter. Saving Daisy took me to the Boneturner for the Flesh, then into the coffin for the Buried. Then into the Lonely for Martin. I- Everything I did was wrong, Ava. Every time I tried to help people it was playing into his hand.
[He swallows and falls silent for a moment before his expression twists again.]
And Tim died for-for nothing. He didn't have to die. Elias said not to take him to the Unknowing. He knew what would happen. Sasha didn't need to, either. I would have got the Stranger's mark from the Unknowing. He didn't need to let that-that thing that wasn't her parade around for months.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-05 06:48 pm (UTC)[ That's not fair. It really isn't fair of her to say it because Jon isn't just baring his heart to her, processing his pain and trauma, but he's grieving the loss of his friends again, and she's cutting straight through it like a hot knife to butter. And she seems to realize that too, even if something's stuck in her throat and telling her that Jon deserves to see how he's fucked everything up for people--
She exhales raggedly, like a hiss, and tries to control herself. ]
Elias is a monster. [ That's easier to focus on than trying to assure Jon that everything is okay or that he tried. ] He deserves to fucking die-- And all he's ever done is cause pain for you and your assistants and friends, Jon. And he's going to keep doing it.
You... You-- [ Fuck, she's so angry. It's always about the people he's hurt back home, he never fucking thinks-- ] You walked the line he set for you. Willingly or not. But he set the line there, Jon. Not you.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-05 07:15 pm (UTC)I'm a monster, Ava. He led the way, but I opened the door. You're right. God, you're right. If I'd just listened to Basira. She told me not to go into the coffin. She would have stopped me going to the Boneturner. She-she wanted to kill me a few times, I think. If she had just killed me, none of this would have happened. If-if Daisy had before that. She should have killed me. It would have ruined his plans.
Everyone keeps letting me live or-or trusting me when they shouldn't. I'm the problem, Ava. I've hurt you, too. The people you care about most. You shouldn't... you should never have stopped at just a punch.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-11 12:25 am (UTC)[ But it's more than that, isn't it? Jon's right; he's hurt her and the people she cares about. She doesn't think he should die but he's definitely not making a good argument for her not to hurt him at this point.
Which is why she reaches over, grabbing him by the wrist even as she stands again. Her grip is painful, bruising. ]
If you'd just stop it, I wouldn't always be pissed at you! And you knew what getting my Statement was going to do that first time, and you didn't tell me!
You keep things a secret and all it does is work out badly! Why do you keep doing it, Jon?
no subject
Date: 2019-12-17 01:38 am (UTC)I don't know! I- Standing still just feels wrong. If I'm not doing something it's-it's as good as doing nothing. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Ava. Please, do whatever you want. Hurt me however it will make you feel better. God, please.
[She won't kill him. He knows she won't kill him. And any damage she does, he'll heal from. This is her righteous retribution. He needs to give this to her. Maybe it will ease the aching guilt in his own chest to have some of the pain made physical. Something he can heal from.]