[It's definitely going to get him killed someday. Of that he has no doubt.]
Yes. I... tried to tell myself that I could stop it if I just-- stop trying. Mind my own business. Never aim to help anyone, ever. But we both know I won't be able to. And even if I could, and if I did, then I wouldn't be someone that I like. I wouldn't be myself.
[He wouldn't even have met Ava if he didn't want to help. Try to help, always, even when people told him not to, and even when it put him out greatly. Perhaps there is a Hawke somewhere out there who cares only for himself, who does things to benefit only himself, and his life's probably a lot happier and calmer for it. But he doesn't like that Hawke at all.]
I don't think the truth is so set in stone, either. So maybe I died in a year or two, the way Cullen knows I did. Maybe I don't. Maybe I get hit by another bus tomorrow and that's it. There's no way of knowing. And if there was, I wouldn't want to.
[Wait... another bus?]
I... I don't want to worry anymore. I could die at any time. Everyone could. I have time now, and I don't want to waste it being afraid. Being miserable.
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Date: 2019-11-09 05:05 pm (UTC)Yes. I... tried to tell myself that I could stop it if I just-- stop trying. Mind my own business. Never aim to help anyone, ever. But we both know I won't be able to. And even if I could, and if I did, then I wouldn't be someone that I like. I wouldn't be myself.
[He wouldn't even have met Ava if he didn't want to help. Try to help, always, even when people told him not to, and even when it put him out greatly. Perhaps there is a Hawke somewhere out there who cares only for himself, who does things to benefit only himself, and his life's probably a lot happier and calmer for it. But he doesn't like that Hawke at all.]
I don't think the truth is so set in stone, either. So maybe I died in a year or two, the way Cullen knows I did. Maybe I don't. Maybe I get hit by another bus tomorrow and that's it. There's no way of knowing. And if there was, I wouldn't want to.
[Wait... another bus?]
I... I don't want to worry anymore. I could die at any time. Everyone could. I have time now, and I don't want to waste it being afraid. Being miserable.